beccalynnlaw: (Default)
[personal profile] beccalynnlaw
So I came home sick from work today, to find a letter from my law school in my mailbox.  It was a standard Alumni mailing, talking about how smart the new class was, and the awards the students had been getting, and the faculty achievements, etc, etc, etc.   Sent from the new Dean's office, and signed with his auto-pen.  All very standard.  Except how it was addressed.  The envelope and the letter were addressed to "Mr. and Ms. Peter von Groote" and the Salutation was "Dear Peter and Rebecca."

Now, this would be correct if a) this was still 1950 and I was a very early female attorney or b) Peter and I were both graduates.  Because while I am Mrs. Peter von Groote, I am, in the alumni system, Rebecca L.W. von Groote, JD, M.Ed.  Peter is not in the system as an alumni at all, because while we will have two alma maters in common when he gets his masters, OU is not among them.

I suppose I am bothered that rather than use my preferred form of address, they are opting to use an address form and style that has been considered high formal since my grandmother was still alive.  And not to be a raging feminist about it, because I will be the first to admit I couldn't have gotten through law school without the love and support of my now husband, but at the end of the day, it was my accomplishment.  To address things to me first would be as offensive for him to receive things from OSU relating to his degree addressed to "Ms. and Mr. Williams" and have the salutation as "Dear Rebecca and Peter".

I will actually be at the law school this weekend for a clinic event, and I am considering whether or not to say anything.  Hmmm....

Date: 2011-10-12 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Why would they address anything to a person who didn't attend their school?

Date: 2011-10-12 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Say something. Really.

If it torques you that badly, say something about it.

Personally, this upsets me that we're still dealing with this sort of thing in 2011. I'm all for formality, but this did not need formality.

Date: 2011-10-12 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Even better, do it in writing.

Date: 2011-10-12 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm teaching professional writing this semester--
Straight up. You're not even allowed to use Mrs. in a salutation if you don't know the person. Just not professional anymore.
So addressing a woman by her husbands name-- yep, that's dead, buried, and really just not done.
Surely they just don't realize they are doing this?

Date: 2011-10-12 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
They probably don't realize it, because that's the setting in the auto-addressing system. Hopefully their autoaddressing system can be made to handle this properly. (The trouble is *varying* the addressing system based on expressed preferences while still using honorifics. Some people-- older ones with lots of money -- still prefer the Mr. & Mrs. HisName Lastname formua. *sigh* I'm so glad I don't work in development.)

Date: 2011-10-12 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah I get really pissy when we get that stuff in the mail, and we did both graduate from the same school. Especially when we both get the stuff, and both of the items are addressed the same fucking way.


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