How not to do Alumni relations...
Oct. 11th, 2011 08:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
beccalynnlawSo I came home sick from work today, to find a letter from my law school in my mailbox. It was a standard Alumni mailing, talking about how smart the new class was, and the awards the students had been getting, and the faculty achievements, etc, etc, etc. Sent from the new Dean's office, and signed with his auto-pen. All very standard. Except how it was addressed. The envelope and the letter were addressed to "Mr. and Ms. Peter von Groote" and the Salutation was "Dear Peter and Rebecca."
Now, this would be correct if a) this was still 1950 and I was a very early female attorney or b) Peter and I were both graduates. Because while I am Mrs. Peter von Groote, I am, in the alumni system, Rebecca L.W. von Groote, JD, M.Ed. Peter is not in the system as an alumni at all, because while we will have two alma maters in common when he gets his masters, OU is not among them.
I suppose I am bothered that rather than use my preferred form of address, they are opting to use an address form and style that has been considered high formal since my grandmother was still alive. And not to be a raging feminist about it, because I will be the first to admit I couldn't have gotten through law school without the love and support of my now husband, but at the end of the day, it was my accomplishment. To address things to me first would be as offensive for him to receive things from OSU relating to his degree addressed to "Ms. and Mr. Williams" and have the salutation as "Dear Rebecca and Peter".
I will actually be at the law school this weekend for a clinic event, and I am considering whether or not to say anything. Hmmm....
Now, this would be correct if a) this was still 1950 and I was a very early female attorney or b) Peter and I were both graduates. Because while I am Mrs. Peter von Groote, I am, in the alumni system, Rebecca L.W. von Groote, JD, M.Ed. Peter is not in the system as an alumni at all, because while we will have two alma maters in common when he gets his masters, OU is not among them.
I suppose I am bothered that rather than use my preferred form of address, they are opting to use an address form and style that has been considered high formal since my grandmother was still alive. And not to be a raging feminist about it, because I will be the first to admit I couldn't have gotten through law school without the love and support of my now husband, but at the end of the day, it was my accomplishment. To address things to me first would be as offensive for him to receive things from OSU relating to his degree addressed to "Ms. and Mr. Williams" and have the salutation as "Dear Rebecca and Peter".
I will actually be at the law school this weekend for a clinic event, and I am considering whether or not to say anything. Hmmm....
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no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 01:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 02:51 am (UTC)If it torques you that badly, say something about it.
Personally, this upsets me that we're still dealing with this sort of thing in 2011. I'm all for formality, but this did not need formality.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 02:55 am (UTC)Straight up. You're not even allowed to use Mrs. in a salutation if you don't know the person. Just not professional anymore.
So addressing a woman by her husbands name-- yep, that's dead, buried, and really just not done.
Surely they just don't realize they are doing this?
no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 05:52 pm (UTC)I have also talked a friend one class behind me who is livid because it came addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Bob Smith. Her name is Jane Smith-Jones.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-12 10:56 pm (UTC)